


r/kunugigoaka: what's going on with the principal?

by waspfactor



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, KARAHOU AGENDA, M/M, R/Kunugigoaka, Secret Relationship, Social Media, add subreddit fic to my crimes, literally a tiny pinch, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27686248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waspfactor/pseuds/waspfactor
Summary: u/gakushoe: hey guys, student council president asano here. hope everyone's keeping well and performing to the best of their abilities. daily reminder that it's been 21 days since any form of child abuse- hooray for us! as a result of the student body polls we conducted last week, i will celebrate this event with this:'poggers'(or kunugigoaka have a subreddit and the subreddit subscribes to the karahou agenda)
Relationships: Asano Gakuhou/Karasuma Tadaomi
Comments: 17
Kudos: 146





	r/kunugigoaka: what's going on with the principal?

**Author's Note:**

> r/kunugigoaka would be such a vibe
> 
> light karahou to get me vibing with these two
> 
> gakushuu defo buys reddit gold, what a nerd
> 
> UPDATE: we now actually have a ["subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kunugigoaka/)

Whoever created the Kunugigoaka subreddit deserves to have a medal awarded to them, Gakushuu decides. A whole hub of information, a web of spies that he doesn’t have to pay for or bribe or even interact with. His father is a fool for paying all that money for state-of-the-art security cameras when you can download a free app and essentially, obtain all the same information.

It’s within the Kunugigoaka Cinematic Universe, so of course, it’s a cesspool at times. Gakushuu easily identifies Akabane’s account (u/karmaisabitch) and notices that most of the posts are him listing fights he’s been in, where the teachers monitor during class time or him dropping hints about E Class. Maehara (u/gingersnapcookie) and Ren (u/sakakakakakibara) often get into arguments about possible romantic interests and there’s a fair share of posts that are just straight up thirst traps for Asano ( _both Asanos-_ the thought alone sends a shiver down his spine).

He browses it as if it’s a daily newspaper; normally when he uses the bathroom. It’s here that he (unknowingly at the time) strikes gold.

A post captioned ‘something up with the scary e class teacher?’ from a user that Gakushuu doesn’t recognise.

_I saw that scary E Class teacher leave the principal’s office today. His face was pink and the look he gave me made me want to bury my head in the sand. Do you think the principal mouthed him off badly?_

A reply, from a girl in E Class (u/spidergwen): _He was blushing? He never blushes! Maybe the principal really embarrassed him or something. Poor thing :’((_

This sparks curiosity in Gakushuu. He’s long figured out that this scary teacher _actually_ works for the government, but his file had most information redacted. Getting more dirt on him seems like a good idea and if it’s anything he can use over his father, even beter.

On the drive back home that day, Gakushuu peppers it into conversation. “I know what happened with Karasuma-sensei today.”

His father doesn’t wear surprise in the traditional sense. He remains neutral but the long loading time for him to speak tells Gakushuu everything he needs to know. Got ya. “…Oh?”

“We all heard it,” Gakushuu crosses his arms, lets a competitive smirk tug on his lips. “It’s what he deserves.”

His father’s eyebrow twitches. Woah. Gakushuu’s got him on the ropes. “…Yes, I suppose he did.” He says, looking away, bringing that conversation to a close. This Karasuma/Asano incident skyrockets to the top of his priorities. This is interesting… and has a lot of potential.

Scouring the subreddit proves no additional information; with everyone writing the incident of as a bad argument. Gakushuu falters briefly. What if he _was_ reading too far into this.

When he does get some new evidence, he shows up on his front door. Quite literally. He gets back home after soccer practice one night. He’s not exactly tired but he’s sore all over. He just wants to go for a bath and soak for a bit. But Gakushuu never gets what he wants.

He open the front door and is met with the sight of his father (the principal of Kunugigoaka, essentially a boss to every teacher at the school) _kissing Karasuma_ (a teacher at Kunugigoaka, who _works for his father_ ) _on the lips_. _Romantically._ _What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck._

Gakushuu can’t help what happens next.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” He yells, covering his eyes. The loud noise startles the two of them and they jump apart as if the other was acidic to the touch. Karasuma looks likes a deer caught in the headlines and his father, _stone cold Asano,_ gives him a confused scowl.

“What- AHHH!” Gakushuu starts but then remembers what situation he’s in. He runs past _them,_ practically flying up the stairs to his bedroom. Thank God he bought his own bolt. He locks the door, throws his bag on his bed and paces around the room in a panic.

Father….? Karasuma?? _Together???_

His mind spins.

He phones Ren. “REN.” He practically screeches.

“Asano? What is it?”

“I-, I-,”

“Are you okay?”

“ _No_.”

Gakushuu tells Ren everything but makes him swear to keep it a secret. Ren, all ‘of course Asano’ and ‘this stays between us’, is a good friend but. God. Asano regrets going to him first. He _really_ shouldn’t have told Ren. Poor boy practically runs the Kunugigoaka rumour mill.

**r/Kunugigoaka** from **u/sakakakakakibara** : RE: THE SCARY E CLASS TEACHER THING

I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT THE SCARY TEACHER AND THE PRINCIPAL ARE DATING. OR SOMETHING. AHHHHHHHH.

**u/karmaisabitch** : LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT

**u/karmaisabitch** : oh shit ur asano’s friend AHAHAHHAHAAHAHHA ASANO IF UR READING THIS, AND I KNOW U READ THIS SUBREDDIT COS U UPVOTE ALL THE POSTS FROM PEOPLE WHO FANCY YOU, I CAN NOW SAY YOUR DAD IS GAY AND IT’S NOT HOMOPHOBIC AHAHHAHAHAHA

**u/puddingprincess** : love is love <33 even if I am concerned about karasuma-sensei

**u/snakeyshiota** : Do you really think we should out them on a public forum? It’s probably a private affair- we should stay out of it.

**u/gingersnapcookie** : here at Kunugigoaka we’re all inclusive! our oppressive tyrant is gay!

**u/honeygoldfish** : Nagisa’s right. Can one of the mods take this post down?

**u/poletoppler** : if the principal is gay… then… where does asano junior come into this. is…he adopted?

**u/strongestineclass** : Itona ur so fcuking stupid

**u/spidergwen** : nrs <//3 hope he’s happy at least :(((((((((((((((((

Gakushuu almost throws his phone out the window.

He slowly creeps downstairs several hours later, when he can no longer ignore the rumbling of his stomach. It’s quiet, they must be gone.

Nope.

They’re talking about _budgeting_. _As a romantic activity._ Gakushuu cringes at how… _perfect_ they are for each other. He tries to run back up stairs but his father doesn’t even need to turn around to see he’s there. Fuck the Asano perceptiveness.

“Asano,” He begins, causing Gakushuu to freeze. “I know you’re there.”

Karasuma’s head snaps up, dark eyes burning into Gakushuu. “Father.” He manages, practically running to the kitchen to hide his head in the cool fridge.

There’s a muttering between the two and then- “Asano. I thought I raised you better than to hold such bigoted views.”

_What._ Gakushuu can excuse his father having a relationship with his employees but he draws the line of being accused of homophobia.

“ _Father_. Why on _Earth_ would I be homophobic?”

“You screamed! You never scream!”

“Because of you _two?_ Like, I’m so sorry Karasuma-sensei and I know I’m out of line in saying this, but your standards must be _low,_ ” His father objects to that. “Like seriously? A middle-aged man, _widowed_ with an almost adult son? That’s what you're settling for?”

Karasuma’s face goes pink and he looks away. His father fumes. “Gakushuu Asano!”

Admittedly, Gakushuu has no clue what’s going on. He retorts back quickly, but it’s not his best effort. “Gakuhou Asano!”

“You said you knew what happened! Why are you freaking out?”

“What? You think I’d react like that if I _knew?_ ” And then it clicks into place. Gakushuu’s hand flies to cover his mouth. “…The office incident. _Ohhhhh nooooo.”_ He laments.

“What did you think happened?”

Gakushuu splutters. “An argument or something? I don’t know!” He shrugs. His father opens his mouth, potentially to clarify. “ _Nope! Don’t tell me!”_

The principal looks amused. “I never knew you were this disturbed by my romantic life, Asano. Imagine if I was this invested in yours?”

Now that’s a thought that’s getting added to the nightmare fuel pile. “Stop! This is-“ He covers his face with his hands and lets out a low groan. “I hate you so much. Not even because you’re gay-“

“Bisexual, actually.” His father interjects.

“Bi, I don’t care! I just,” Gakushuu takes a deep breath, steadies himself. “Would appreciate a heads-up next time.”

“Aw, Asano. I never realise you were such a prude.”

“ _Shut up!”_

There’s a moment of silence and then Karasuma speaks up.

_“Who told the subreddit?!”_

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry for writing this, reddit au is a fucking SIN but this was so. Fun to write
> 
> karasuma meeting principal asano for the first time: hope this doesn't awaken anything in me
> 
> lmk if u liked but honestly im no expecting much

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [r/Kunugigoaka: Anonymous](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27720823) by [SlytherinKilljoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinKilljoy/pseuds/SlytherinKilljoy)




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